


in paris with you.

by rebeccareally



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, angsty fluff, jaebum doesn't know how to say i love you, reader starts feeling insecure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-31 13:08:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6471127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebeccareally/pseuds/rebeccareally
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>jaebum's never been good with words, but he's in paris, and he's terrified.</p>
            </blockquote>





	in paris with you.

**Author's Note:**

> hi!! this is my first piece of writing i’ve done for a member of got7- how exciting!! this is an idea that’s been brewing for a few days now, and i’m happy i finally got to write it!! it’s based on the poem “in paris with you” by james fenton, so i suggest you read the poem before you read this, although it’s not completely necessary. alright, i’m going to shut up now- enjoy!!

Raised voices and less than pleasant words were the only sounds that could be heard coming from your cramped one bedroom apartment. To be fair, it was a miracle- in your opinion at least- that it had taken you this long to blow your lid, so to speak.

 

Jaebum was somewhat of an enigma to you before you became a couple in the first place. Meeting him as he came in to drink at the bar you worked at, you were instantly drawn to his quiet demeanour and the air of dominance which he seemed to naturally exude. You, being rather quiet yourself, chose to make subtle observations about him throughout the night, such as the fact that he would take a small sip of his scotch before downing the glass in full, or the way his subtle furrowed brow seemed to become more and more prominent as the night wore on. Never would you have predicted that, just one short year later, these were all habits that you would grow to love about Jaebum.

 

 _That_ was part of the problem, however.

 

Jaebum had been a man of few words throughout the entire course of your relationship, much preferring to show you in physical means rather than verbal how he felt about you. This, you were perfectly fine with, understanding that not everyone could express themselves verbally. Jaebum was conservative in public at the best of times, not one for huge public displays of affection or flaunting your relationship in front of others, but never once had he given you a reason for doubting his feelings towards you.

 

Well, until recently, that is.

 

Jaebum had been staying out progressively later each night, until it eventually got to the point where he was staying over at the boys’ dorm more often than your shared apartment. It was easy, at first, to put this down to busy preparations for a new schedule. However, with the concerned phone calls from Jinyoung and Mark enquiring about why he was there so often, it became abundantly clear to you that maybe, _just maybe_ , Jaebum didn’t love you in the same way that you loved him.

 

These thoughts haunted you for weeks on end, until each day blended into each other and the only reason that you had not broken down yet was simply because you didn’t have any tears left to cry. At night, rather than sleeping, you would sit and watch Got7’s performances and interviews over and over, Jaebum’s smile and his passion showing clearly in his faultless singing and the way he laughed at the joke of a MC, or the way in which he would smile whenever a fan complimented him.

 

 _Funny_ , you thought, _he used to smile like that because of me._

 

That led you to this moment, you stood across from Jaebum in your shared living room, having finally reached your breaking point.

 

“So,” you chuckled dryly, staring at him with what you hoped conveyed some of the new found contempt which you held for him, “ _Finally_ decided to grace me with your presence, have you?” Jaebum looked back at you with a piercing gaze, as if he was trying to stare right through you, as if he wasn’t actually seeing you. Or wished he wasn’t, at least. “I’ve been busy, thought you knew, with how much you’ve been bitching at the members about me.” he stated humourlessly.

 

You couldn’t help but snort at that, crossing your arms over your chest and shifting your weight to one foot. “Oh, _of course_. Silly me for worrying about where my boyfriend is when he’s staying out night after night with zero explanation. I am _such_ an awful girlfriend!”

 

Jaebum raised his hand- rather sloppily due to the alcohol still firing up his actions- and pointed a single finger at you. “Don’t take that fucking tone with me.”

 

“Excuse me? _Who the fuck_ do you think you are, Im Jaebum?”

 

“I’m _your_ boyfriend, actually.”

 

“Yes, exactly, you’re _my_ boyfriend, so why don’t you pull your head out of your ass and start acting like it instead of _treating_ me like some sort of fashion accessory? I’m _fucking_ sick of this Jaebum. Sick of being made to feel like I’m marooned on some far away desert island within my own home. I- I can’t fucking do it anymore, Jaebum.” Your voice died off in a whisper at the look of fear on his face, but you were resolute in your plan. This had been your plan for weeks now, and you weren’t about to go back on it. Your bags were packed next to the door, all you had to do was leave.

 

You turned to begin walking towards the door, pulling your phone out of your pocket to call a cab before Jaebum’s arms wrapped around you from behind, effectively preventing you from doing so. His face was pressed into the space between your shoulder blades and, although his breathing was steady, you could feel the slight tremble in the arms which were holding you in place. “Please- I- I’m sorry. Please don’t leave me, y/n, you’re all I have.” His voice cracked slightly on the last word, and you could tell from the increasing wet patch on the back of your shirt and the almost constant trembling of his arms that he was crying.

 

You chuckled humourlessly (honestly, when was the last time you laughed because you found something funny?) and broke free of his arms, spinning around to face him, looking him dead in the eyes. “Let me ask you one thing, Jaebum, and don’t you dare lie to me: do you even love me?” Jaebum looked almost like he had touched the wrong end of a iron, coiling back in on himself much like a snake.

 

A beat later, he replied “Of course I do.” It was your turn to be taken aback at the abruptness of his retort. Your brain was screaming at you that now was the time to leave, but the gnawing curiosity at the bottom of your stomach forced you to stay put. A second passed, and then two, and then-

 

“ _Why_ do you never tell me then?”

 

Jaebum’s mouth opened, then closed, then opened again, then he sighed, running a hand through his already dishevelled hair. If it hadn’t have been for the severity of the situation, you would’ve laughed at how comical his facial expressions were. “Look, y/n-“ he started, reaching out for your hand, and allowing his lips to arch upward slightly when you didn’t pull away. He began to speak as he ran his thumb over your knuckles, memorising each dip and curve of your hand as though he was seeing it for the first time.

 

“I’ve never been good at expressing my emotions verbally. Sure, I can write my thoughts into songs and down onto paper, but I’ve always struggled fully verbalising my thoughts. I’ve been like that since I was a child, and because of that, I’ve had to say goodbye to some of the most amazing people I have ever had the chance to meet. It’s how I find it so easy to put a stop to fights between the members- because I can never show my feelings towards a stressful situation verbally eloquently enough. But I was getting along just fine, I was coping. But then- _god, y/n_ , you came along and completely messed up _everything_ that I thought I knew about myself. I thought, before you, that I was fine with being alone, but then you walked into my life and- _god_ , you make me feel like Paris. You make me feel like I’m cherished and marvellous and something to celebrate. You, though, oh my god, y/n, you’re as much of a masterpiece as the Mona Lisa and when you’re next to me, I feel as tall as the Eiffel Tower. So, _do you see now?_ I’m in Paris with you, y/n. I am in Paris with you, and it fucking terrifies me, so don’t you dare say th-“

 

You cut Jaebum off by pressing your lips to his passionately, hoping to remove some of the ache because suddenly, you did understand: Jaebum was _scared._ He was scared that you were going to leave him too, like other people had, and him not saying the “l” word was his way of defending himself- of not getting too involved incase things went south. Honestly, you didn’t blame him, you just wished with all of your heart that you could convince him that you weren’t going anywhere.

 

You pulled back from his lips just enough to rest your forehead against his, intertwining your fingers instead. “I know Jae, _I know._ You make me feel like a city- vast and complex and alive. And, if you’ll let me, I’ll spend every day for the rest of my life making sure you _never_ feel any less than magnificent.” Jaebum smiled at you, his eyes crinkling, and you smiled back because in that moment, you were _more_ than okay. You were looking at him with Paris in your eyes, and he was looking at you with Paris in his, and everywhere else fell away until there was just you two, cities linked by the road you travelled together.

 

-/-

 

_“Where do you want to go for our honeymoon, Jaebum?”_

 

_“Well, I was thinking Paris. It’s the city of love, isn’t it?”_


End file.
